Current mood:

mellow

Auld Lang Syne

i'm feeling like i need something
something to make me feel real
i sit on the sidelines
watching everyone
and once in a while
i pop in, to see what its like
to see what its like to be in someone's shoes
i'm not me.
i'm everyone i see, meshed into one.
But that makes me me.
I feel so un-real so much
I feel like sometimes i'm not there
Or that i wish i wasn't there

i drove home tonight
i was drinking
i wasn't scared though
i don't know why
kinda like i knew nothing was going to happen
i felt it
if something were to happen
its what was supposed to happen
and when i got home safely
i got this kind of ok feeling
like i was supposed to survive
but how long am i supposed to survive
why don't i die tomorrow?
what would it ever ever change

coffee houses make me feel the best
even the starbucks at barnes and noble
it just gives me this soothing feeling
i went to one last night
erica's freind zoe was performing
and i was smiling
so much
i would hate to be cliche
but music really is...
i don't even know how to describe it
just that it keeps me coming back
over and over again
and it keeps me together
with myself
and i am happiest around it

i am happy that no one that i'm close to is hurt tonight
i am happy that i had such an amazing week off
i am happy to go back to school

i am happy that it is the new year, our year, such a big step this will be
its a lot... almost too much